Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Mighty Quinn...Gets an Earring

Quinn is a brother stuck between two sisters. And he is such a good sport about it that it sometimes breaks my heart. He endures Barbies and ponies, rainbows and flowers and only recently has he begun to balk at watching "girlie movies." He loves playing Princess and Puppy, the game his sister made up...and I swear sometimes his favorite color is pink. He knows every Disney Princess, her Prince and back story. He has been dressed up, made up, but also left out; he can build and decorate a fairy house both with the precision of an engineer and the eye of an interior decorator. He lives his life by what those around him do and think. And that is what drives me crazy.
As the middle child, and the only little boy in the family, perhaps this is more normal than I realize? Or perhaps it has nothing to do with his sisters, or his birth order. But my son's continued dependence on others for decision making and approval has me marching towards the edge. The fact that Quinn is a follower makes me nervous. I have played out all sorts of scenarios in my mind that involve him doing exactly what other's tell him...and none of them turn out good.
Needless to say, I have been harping on Quinn for several months now to do what HE thinks is right. I want him to make choices for himself. I want him to do what he wants to do. I don't want him to stop eating because everyone else is done their meal. I don't want him to taunt or ignore other kids because a group of misfits at the playground tells him to. I want him to decide. For. Him. Self. I want him to have self confidence. I want him to separate himself from his sisters. I want him to look up to and admire his friends and family, but still allow himself to be...Quinn. I do not want a simple choice of ice cream flavors to become debilitating, or dependent on what others think he should choose.
I am rejoicing a tiny little bit, because finally we have a glimmer of Quinn asserting his independence. Finally he has made a choice for himself. Finally he is going against the norm, against the grain, and paving his own way. He made his choice. And I could say nothing other than "go for it...if it's what YOU want."

Today Quinn got his ear pierced.
I'm proud of Quinn. He made the decision on his own and that is something I have been waiting a long time for him to do.

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