Two For One...Like Cheating

                                                                                                                                         
The 52 Project:
I've missed a few 52 Project weeks lately. But ya know what? Oh well. I’m finding that sometimes it’s just easier to shove the camera phone back into my pocket, or leave the DSLR home altogether and just be present. I’ve learned being behind the camera can sometimes take away from being in front of my kids, or whatever else is going on. Halloween is a great example. All of the pictures that I did take suck. They are blurry and dimly lit and the faces are all squinty and shadowy and creepy! It was so aggravating to try and take a good picture of the baby as he toddled up to and right past many a front door. But it was so fun to just watch him do it. I became far less frustrated with the whole damned exhausting affair when I just gave up and burned the most important images into my soggy brain.

That being said…there are one or two pictures that I did salvage this week and while they are not perfect they’ll do for week Forty-Four of Fifty-Two...the week of increased and increasingly hilarious temper tantrums. The never ending squishy face. Wearing the wonky hat and walking with his eyes closed. His happy feet, rapid foot fire marching dance move. The best. I mean at this stage in the game even the temper tantrums are the best. This little guy has so much personality...

Monthly Non-Profit Highlight:

So the conundrum here is that these next couple of months are all about extreme giving and gratitude. There are so many tremendous and meaningful ways that we each can give back to our local, national or global communities and the months of November and December seem to be the months where we are most interested in giving, volunteering, donating, helping…generally doing good {I may be way off here, but I suspect this is a relatively true statement}.

So, given the extra generosity that permeates the air, one would think that I could come up with a really phenomenal post about a spectacular non-profit that so deserves and needs help. However. The months of November and December, on the heels of that hellish holiday Halloween, are also when I tend to turn inward to my family. I become far more interested in, and maybe even a bit obsessed with, baking and decorating and memory making and crappy holiday movie watching and shopping and visiting and traveling and list making and crafting. Holy shit with the crafting. Anyway, each of these elements is amped up a bit for me and I tend to neglect other areas. And I can wholeheartedly tell ya that right now this here little blog, and the little {hopefully somewhat impactful} project is going to be at the top of the list of things to neglect in the next few weeks. Third only to laundry and cleaning the house.

Also I kind of feel like with the culture of generosity and giving that flows a little easier around these bigger holidays; the people who are going to give, they kinda have a thing going on already with an organization, or something that has become a tradition for their family. I feel like you all probably have this season of giving all mapped out with who and what and when already.

For example, each year before Thanksgiving we donate a crap load of dry cat and dog food to our local animal shelter and do our part to stuff each and every bus we come across. Those two things happen regardless. And then there are years where we sponsor a family through church. There are years where we hear of a friend struggling to make Christmas happen and buy extra for them. There are years where we pull angel tags off a tree and give that way. There are years that our intent is to wrap our gift giving up with our giving to non-profits {a win-win if you ask me}.

My point is that we have our tried and true giving traditions, and we have our opportunity-arises-might-be-different-each-year giving. And I’m sure you do too. All of this to say…I’ve rounded up a few easy opportunities for giving this month…and holy Christmas Cats I hope to be back with another blog post before the new year.

Stuff the Bus/Buy a Meal/Thanksgiving Baskets via the multitude of local grocery stores, schools, food pantries, churches, Girl Scout or Boy Scout troops, media outlets or businesses who participate in these drives. Click HERE for a link to a Portland, Maine area Stuff the Bus Food Drive happening later this month.  

Donate Blood via The American Red Cross. To find a blood drive in your area click HERE and follow instructions.

Sponsoring a Family via your church/religious organization. For us, while the opportunity to do so is plentiful each year, it requires actually GOING to church. We are pathetic when it comes to attending Mass on weekends.

Donating goods/supplies/food to local animal shelters via your local Humane Society, Animal Refuge League or the ASPCA (click HERE to find local ASPCA chapters). Don’t forget the large animal shelters in your area as well…nothing is more fun than bringing carrots to rescued horses at this time of year!

Toys, toys and more toys via local Santa funds, toy drives or the Marine's Toys for Tots (click HERE to visit the Toys for Tots website and find links to local drop off locations)

Save a Life via Be The Match or Donate Life America! Join extensive Be The Match Bone Marrow Registry and truly make a difference in someone's life! Click HERE to learn about the match program and how you can help! Also, take a minute to register as an organ donor at Donate Life America (click HERE for link); indicating to family or via a driver's license your wish to donate your organs is often not enough!

Lollipop, Lollipop

Week Forty-One/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

 

Let's not view it as what I have resorted to doing in order to keep my baby quiet for five minutes. Instead let's view it as a celebration of him turning 17 months this week. Okay? Okay.



Also. He giggles when he farts. So there's that.

This Week

Week Forty/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

 

This week he and I survived a day with no nap.

This week I survived signing my son up for band.

This week he and I survived an epic "help Mom with the cat" event.

This week I survived a Kindergarten field trip.

This week we survived football, barely.

 

And all I have to show for it is this...staring out the window.

Forehead and sweaty palms pressed against the cool glass.

And the realization that screens can ruin a great picture.

{Note to self...remove screens}

  

 

 

 

The Mess. And the Rest (Plus One Swear)

Week Thirty-Nine/Fifty Two

"A portrait of my child(ren), once a week, every week, in 2014"

 

So he's my baby. He's the last (yes, I concede defeat and there will be no more littles running around underfoot) and so ya know...I'm still shoving pacifiers into his mouth even though he hates to use them. I'm still trying to get him to take a bottle when I'm not around, even though he's been drinking out of a straw/sippy cup for months. I still rock him to sleep. I still hold him while he sleeps. I still awkwardly smell his head and try to rub my face with the back of his hand. I've made up his "toddler bed" but know damn well he's sleeping with me for a good long while. Like years. I am  decidedly happy to coast ever so slowly towards true toddlerhood. I'm clinging to the words infant and baby, and when someone asks how old he is and I tell them...sweet sausage on a stick help them if they tell me he's big. Cause he's not. He's my baby.

 

However. The eating. It took him forever how to figure out how to, I don't know...swallow food. For months he balked at baby food. Then for months after that he balked at regular food. He didn't start eating until late in the game. I've had to pull over on more than one occasion to scoop bagel out of his throat cause he just can not figure out how to bite, chew, swallow. Food is still cut into tiny bits for him. Generally he eats with his fingers (holy Moses save me from the mess) and usually almost never ever spoons food into his own mouth. Developmentally I have no idea where that puts him, and I could give precisely no fucks. But for the love of Christmas Cats it would be so effing sweet if I could just hand the kid a cheese stick. Or a banana. Or a French frigging toast stick. Or I don't know, something that gets squirted out of a pouch. I've got other mouths to feed, my own being one of them. So when it comes to food...I'm pushing. I'm hoping. I'm praying that sooner rather than later he'll be mixing drinks and baking pies. But for now...bananas. This is pretty much how he does bananas.

 {the mess}

The good thing about bananas for lunch...is they happen right before nap. Something else I will be clinging to by the way. Because sanity.

{the rest}
 

  *Also, he figured out how to climb out of his highchair this week. Good thing he figured it out while I was paying attention to him. Back to buckles.

**Also again. Five times. Five different times he has gotten out of the bath and we haven't put a diaper on him right away. And five different times he's peed on the floor. How many times before his father and I learn? More than five I guess.



Xbox FTW

Week Thirty-Eight/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

 

I feel a little guilty that this series of pictures isn't of us at the apple orchard. Or outside skipping through the grass in the yard. Or taking a walk. Or reading a book. But nope. That's not how this week has gone.

 

This week I have done everything I can to just rest. Just close my eyes for a few minutes during the late afternoon and refresh. (The cruel reality is of course, that when the baby is napping, I'm amped up on about 60 ounces of coffee, and couldn't sleep if my life depended on it)

 

This week, multiple times a day, I have tried to get this little guy to sit and watch TV. I tried to get him to watch a video on my phone. And I have seriously considered going cold turkey on the breastfeeding gig he's got going for himself. Because while I feel like I have exhausted all of the standard excuses as to why he's still not sleeping through the night (teeth, head cold, more teeth, a cough, gas, reflux, teeth, and more teeth) I'm slowly accepting that he's plain old addicted to...well...the boob.

 

But I'm suffering. I forgot my two middle kids at school the other day. I'd like to blame it on a  million other things (but not teeth, gas, teeth, or reflux), but in reality I just forgot. And I blame my forgetfulness on my sleep deprivation.

 

All of this to say, that this week, I threw in the towel. And if he knew how to actually play the Xbox...I'd have totally let him.

 

Overalls for the Win

Week Thirty-Seven/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

I am trying to convince myself that it is indeed the overalls that are making the little man look, well, old, and not the fact that he turned sixteen whole months on Sunday. Still sleeping like a newborn, but looking so much more like a toddler.
Not cool. Not cool at all.

I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com   

Adjusting

Week Thirty-five of Fifty-two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

This week is about adjusting for me and the little guy. The three older kids are enjoying school and will actually attend for four days this week! Meanwhile he and I are left behind at home. Alone. And it is an adjustment. He misses them. I miss them. He is clingy. My ears are ringing from the silence.

But we will find our groove for sure, we always do. Yesterday I baked brownies and chocolate peanut butter chip cookies. The day before I napped. Today I'm eating bag after bag of chips. Still working the groove thing out, but it'll come.

I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com 

Staying Small

Week Thirty Two of Fifty Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

Thursday marked this guys fifteen month birthday. That has always felt like some sort of milestone that solidifies a gigantic leap towards "big-kid-ness." But this little man...I don't know. This week I feel as though he still leans more towards baby. Kind of like his five year old sister.
 
I think it has something to do with the fact that he refuses to talk, which admittedly I'm a touch grateful for, because holy Shiitake mushrooms said five year old sister talks enough for all of mankind. I think it could have something to do with the fact that he still nurses like a newborn baby throughout the night, which admittedly, I could freaking do without. I think it has something to do with the fact that I am wrapping all extremities around this littlest and holding on to all semblance of his infant-ness! I see this week as an accomplishment; a win for me when it comes to preventing his growing up. I think it also has something to do with the baby blanket I knit for him this week. And not baby as in I ran out of yarn and the blanket finished ridiculously small. No, a baby blanket as in not a toddler blanket. Not a big-kid blanket. A baby blanket, it is totally helping! So yes, please, and thank you for that.

Of course, he is laying the drama on thick these days, and this week we have also seen his tiny little temper flare. The way his little fists ball up when we tell him not to chew paper or eat cat food. The way he cautiously and slowly sits his dimply behind down on the floor, and ever so gently lays himself back on the ground, utterly unable to take one more step if we take the broom away from him. The broom which he uses to swipe things off shelves and topple over toys, people and cats alike. The way he grits his teeth, squeal-screams and turns red in the face when we take away smart phones and prevent him from baby dialing (very much like drunk dialing). Or the way he leans into something (people, beds, couches, more people) with all of his might and growls out of some mystery frustration.

He has also mastered nose picking this week. Sorry. But true. He is such a nose picking boss that he can sometimes be found sucking his thumb and picking his nose at the same time. Fire up the college fund people! And maybe his is a little man after all!



I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com 

Missing His Peeps

Week Twenty-Nine of Fifty Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

I'm posting this one with my littlest in my lap. His people (aka his older brother and sisters) are with their grandparents for a few days (although I'll be making an emergency pickup later this afternoon for one of them-damn you anxiety!) and he is out of sorts. He is currently whiny, clingy, wander-y...meaning he's wandering aimlessly around the house looking for buddies to play with and nurse-y...meaning he wants to nurse like a fricking newborn...what the HELL.

All of this has made the last 24 hours without three of my four kids actually HARDER than having all four kids here. Not fair.

So for now he sits in my lap grabbing at pens, paper, thank you notes to write and the almighty calendar while attempting to download some ridiculous Kim Kardashian app on my phone. But since I'm back on the bandwagon...posting this week's pictures IN TIME is a must.

 Goofball

 

 Love

 No wonder he doesn't listen when I tell him not to drink the pool water.

Intestinal parasites for all ze kids!

 

 Further proof that the rolls still exist. For both of us.



I have titled the next two pictures "Priorities"

(as in My Daddy just got home,

but instead of picking me up he went inside to make Mom a drink.)

I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com  

Best Baby In The World

Week Twenty-Eight/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

 

So I knew I'd blow this whole weekly photo taking/blog posting thing...frankly I'm impressed that I held up for as long as I did. All it took was a little end of school madness, a momentous head-shaving event, a fifth birthday, and a seriously fun but beyond exhausting road trip vacation to throw me off course. And so be it. Will try to get back on track for the rest of the year. Try to. Hopefully. Maybe.

 

For now, back to this guy. Just over fourteen months. Renowned nurser. Professional night-waker. Well versed in fighting sleep. Non-verbal (thankfully?) pointer who has a grunt or whine for just about everything. And officially the most amazing road-tripper in all of the land...as far as I can tell!

 

Vacation was a blast. Vacation was exhausting. Maine to Richmond to Myrtle Beach to Hershey to Maine was an idea that caused great excitement, but also a lot of worry. But once again, little man rolled with the changes, the heat, the hotel, the miles, the car, more miles and a shifted schedule like a freaking boss. So proud of him, and already planning our next adventure (in my head, because I think Marc's head would explode if I voiced my readiness for another road trip any time soon!)

My throat tightens as I look at this picture, because here he seems decidedly less baby, and significantly more little boy. Heart. Broken.

 I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com  

 Ha. Had I remembered to link to her site, I would be joining Jodi. But alas. Crazy week.

 

Two For One

Weeks Twenty-Three and Twenty-Four/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2014"

This week and last have proven to be incredibly busy, and bruisy, for the little man. Last week he took a tumble off of my bed smack dab in the middle of the night. Miraculously I'm not even sure if he woke up. And surprisingly I did wake up. He has been sleeping extra-shitty lately, and I'm extra tired because of it. Combine old age, sleep deprivation, and the end of school year cluster and I'm pretty much toast.

Needless to say, I missed week twenty-three's post. And to be honest...this is the best I got: half a selfie. Or I guess it's really half a him-selfie.

Intertwined with the lack of sleep, increased activity, and yes, old age, my husband and I are also raising money for St. Baldrick's. We're shaving our heads in about a week and a half, and while I am super excited, and pretty super proud, I'm also obsessed with checking our fundraising page....which coincidentally you can find HERE should you find yourself inclined to donate. Checking the fundraising page, and posting updates to Facebook and braving a tweet or two, seems to consume A LOT of my online/writing time. Hence...the blog has suffered. Add to all of this the fact that I really have nothing to say...it's been crickets around here.

 

Yet I am trying to force myself to sit down and write. Just because I committed to doing so, which brings me back to my boy. After months and months of yelling at the older kids to make sure the gate at the top of the stairs was closed, I left it open. And he fell down the stairs. And I aged 17.5 years. Holy hell. He is fine. I mean, I keep finding tiny bruises (his cheek, his back, his forearm, his fat rolls around his knee) that I attribute to his tumble, but overall he is just fine. Me...not so much.

 

When I asked my oldest daughter what she saw when it happened in order to try and better understand whether or not he came down feet first or head first, she said "Mom, all I saw was a flying ball of skin." We are lucky. He is lucky. I curse my bad luck all of the time...but when it matters. I am lucky.

 





I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com  

One Year Photo(s)

Week Twenty-One/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

 

This one is easy. Because I managed to get some really adorable pictures of him (if I do say so myself!), relatively close to his first birthday. So this week is all about shameless promotion of my wildly adorable one-year-old. And because I'm indecisive as fark I'm just adding them ALL.

 

 

 

I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com  

First Birthday

Week twenty/fifty-two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

 

Well. His first birthday, and birthday party, came and went. And we all survived. I survived. Barely. And I have surprisingly little to say about it. For now. And my favorite picture is this:

In other important milestones...we've discovered that his dairy allergy is no longer an

issue. So I am eating all things cheesy. And ice creamy. And he's a bit gassy and burpy and kind of fussy...but I don't care. Because cheese.

He'll manage. And I'll gain weight. And we'll all be happy. Because cheese.

I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com 

 

Rain Baby

Week Nineteen/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

The week he turned one. I'm sure several years down the road I'll write about how it felt when my last baby turned one. But for now...for now I just want to remember this. I don't want to think about all of the "lasts" (i.e. milestones) we've achieved in the past year. I don't want to think about him growing into a more independent toddler. Because what I want to do, when it rains and the baby loves the outdoors, is this.

Happy Birthday to my sweet, funny, loving, adorable, chubby, curious, heart-melting, little man. What a year it has been.

 

I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com 

(Well, not this week I'm not. Cause I missed the deadline AGAIN. Who frickin' knew?)



My Unraveling

Week Seventeen/Fifty-Two

"A portrait of my child(ren) once a week, every week, in 2014"

 

I call this series of photographs (taken with my phone, unfortunately,) My Unraveling.

 

They are messy and blurry and crazy and chaotic and completely mirror everyday life in our house lately.

 

 They are the result of seven minutes of peace and quiet.

 

They are part of a larger project titled, but not photographically documented, How the Baby Destroyed the House in One Morning. (Think an entire box of diapers strewn about the living room. A dish full of cat food scattered across the bathroom floor. Cooking utensils and toys and folded laundry accosted and left for dead.)

 

And it was only Monday.

 

And yet...it was A Monday.

 

I am joining Jodi and her 52 Project at Practising Simplicity  http://www.practisingsimplicity.com